After some encouragement from friends, I decided to start blogging again. I initiated the blog, "IronCrohnie" shortly after being diagnosed with Crohn's Disease at the beginning of 2010 and enjoyed recounting my whirlwind encounters with the disease along with my endurance training.
It's been way too long since I've blogged and hopefully I will find the time now to begin again. I find writing to be extremely therapeutic. Perhaps it's a way to release and organize the thoughts that scurry through my mind or maybe just to capture a particular moment in time with unedited emotion.
In any case, it was fun to read back over my blogs from two years ago.
Many things have changed since then and while I didn't journal my thoughts and emotions during that time frame, there were many lessons learned. I am still plagued with Crohn's Disease and not a day goes by when I am not reminded that I have a chronic illness. I am still stubborn, still love competing in triathlons, and still trying to live life to its fullest. I am also currently in the process of becoming an advocate for Crohn's Disease. I hope to do so on a national level to raise awareness for an incurable cause that I believe is neglected and misunderstood. The challenges patients with Crohn's Disease face on a daily basis is rarely discussed nor recognized.
I firmly believe that with each challenge we face, we become stronger. Along with these challenges, emotional scars may develop over time.
What is a scar anyway? Merriam-Webster defines a scar as a "mark left by injured tissue" and "a mark or indentation resulting from damage or wear."
I saw a sign that I liked and I posted to my Facebook profile. It was written regarding Crohn's Disease Awareness. The sign states: "Never be ashamed of a scar. It simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you."
I've been forced recently to look more closely at some of my own scars. Both physical and emotional scars.
When a physical injury occurs, fibrous tissue builds up in its place to repair the wound. This new fibrous tissue becomes strong over time. It's tougher than the old tissue. It is more firm, less delicate, less likely to be penetrated but it's certainly not the same skin/tissue that was there before. It's new and it's different.
Some people attempt to hide their scars. They buy the latest/greatest skin creams and get treatments in hopes to erase these physical scars. Scars are perceived by many as "ugly" or by others, "battle wounds".
Scars are usually considered undesirable, but why should they be? They tell a story.
Emotional scars, like physical scars, cause the human soul to develop a tough fibrous covering. Protection from what hurt them. These coverings have a memory of their own and painful memories can be activated or triggered by certain actions or events. Over time the new covering becomes so tough and so thick that it's difficult to get back to the fresh tissue or soul. It's difficult to get back to the raw essence of who we are and what caused us to "build up the wall" in the first place.
But like physical scars, the "fibrous tissue" of emotional scars starts off very fragile and sensitive. Over time, it toughens up and begins to callous. What we do with these new scars and how we allow them to affect or define us is now in our hands.
We may suddenly feel less delicate as our hearts harden, less likely to allow others to penetrate through the wall we have built to protect ourselves, and even feel "ugly" or less desirable to others.
It's time to change our way of thinking about scars. We earn our "scars" as we climb the ranks in this life. We receive our own "stripes" in life as we tackle and conquer our goals and dreams while progressing through life. It's time to consider our scars as a part of who we are and what makes us stronger individuals.
What brought us where we are today and makes us WHO we are has likely included many a scar and many a stripe.
May we wear them proudly because it means we are stronger than whatever it was that tried to hurt us!
Examine your scars today. How have they healed or how are they healing? Do you try to cover them with expensive treatments or rid them with other remedies? Are your scars keeping you from doing what you want to do with your life?
Do you find yourself thinking you are unworthy of success? Unworthy of love?
If so, take a second look at your scars. See the BEAUTY that lies within them. See the magical way that layer after layer has lined up to patch a worn, damaged wound. Look at the miraculous way that we were made/designed to develop new fibrous coverings or SCARS to heal our wounds. That new skin comes back stronger for a reason. It comes back thicker and more resilient for a reason.
That reason is WHO YOU ARE TODAY. You are constantly being molded and shaped into an irreplaceable, amazing, unique MASTERPIECE.
Find the beauty in your scars, both physical and emotional. Take time to nurture yourself and your inner spirit. Learn from your mistakes. Don't make the same mistake twice. Be the best that you can be every day from the minute you wake up to the minute you go to bed. Look in the mirror and love yourself, "scars and stripes" included! :) You have earned them.
